Humans, generally speaking, are very adaptive creatures. We live in all sorts of climates, deal with changing environments, can adjust our demeanor and even our expectations (for better or worse) when the situation calls for it. However, the one thing to consider here is that our adaptability is not instantaneous nor infinite. In fact, the time needed to adapt is somewhat (if not directly) proportional to the degree or depth of change we expect to tackle. For instance, if I was to tell you that you were to lose your job in 2 years due to outsourcing, you would likely be upset but, as painstaking and unfair as it may be, you would adapt. You would update your resume, adjust your budget, manage expectations. You would do what you have to in order to get your next job and ensure you get back on track with your life . On the other hand, if I were to tell you that you were to lose your job in the next 24 hours, it would be massively more difficult to come to terms with. You would be, to a some (perhaps large) extent, paralyzed in what to do next. The immediacy of the change and the ripple that it caused in your life and outlook would be much harder to deal with. And the loss of confidence and optimism, while not irreversible, would take a disproportionate blow. There simply wasn't enough time, and things changed too fast to allow for a manageable adaptation.
The thing is, we all have dreams. I'm not talking about fairy tales, but very real, achievable things that we strive for and expect from our future. A good job, good friends and family, financial security, traveling the world, retirement, getting married, growing older, having kids. Some of these things would seem impossibly hard to deal with if someone took the option away. Many people deal with such scenarios. I'm one of those people. If you're reading this blog, chances are you're probably one of those people too (or have someone very close to you that is).
This past year (actually the past 2 years) have been trying times for my wife and I. An unfortunate string of events has changed us from the bright eyed, optimistic kids we were just a few years back. Yet we are also light years from where we were just 10 months ago. This is my not-so-easy to tell story about azoospermia, and the perils that come being infertile (or sterile). Indubitably, the worst of such perils being that my wife and I will never have our own biological children.
Thank you for finding this blog, I hope you find at least the tiniest bit of comfort in knowing someone else knows how hard things are or have been for you, and how much harder and seemingly (for lack of a better word) embarrassing it is to open up to others about azoospermia. Feel free to comment, send an email, or contact me in anyway.
