Disneyland

When I was young, like many kids, my parents took me to Disneyland (a few times).  I can remember the drive down to Los Angeles from Northern California, the meals we ate in the central valley off interstate 5,  noticing the different freeways, and finally checking into an inn or hotel.  Then, of course, there was the excitement as we entered the massive Disneyland parking lot, and I can always recall the feeling as we approached the ticket booth: unbearable bliss.  The anticipation was magical and once you stepped in - it truly was a place that my brother and I (and my parents) could find ourselves immersed in, completely.

Even at a very young age, however, I knew (like most kids) that Disneyland was just make-believe and that the animals we saw were actually machines and that there were grown men running around in costumes trying to make us laugh and encourage us to enjoy the park.  The thing is, that never took anything away from Disneyland.  In the end, it wasn't the fancy decorations, or plethora of Disney characters that made us so enthralled with going to Disneyland......rather, it was a place that provided an atmosphere of fun rides, animatronics, familiar themes, and enough reminders of the very things we imagined when playing with toys and friends which allowed us to fill in the voids left by the  artificial nature of the park with our creativity, fascinations and, most importantly, our optimism.

Lately, I've been thinking about all the things we unnecessarily pick apart in our lives: the people we meet, the decisions our friends/family make, the job we work, the relationships we find ourselves in, how successful we are.....Perhaps, even as adults (maybe even especially as adults) we need to fill in the voids of our lives with our imagination and optimism.  There are certainly fake people, disingenuous companies, and things that we are ashamed of in our lives - but as a whole, most people are impressive with the things they have gone thru and accomplished, but sometimes we find it easier to pick apart the bad than relish the good, particularly when it comes to our own lives.

Even now, I can find myself at times feeling sorry for myself and the thoughts of depression trying to flood my mood.....but I keep trying to tell myself this: there will ALWAYS be something that seems worse than it really is in your life.  There will always been someone that didn't do enough (at least in your eyes).  There will always be problems that are out of your control.  There will always be battles you fight were you feel like an underdog.  But these are (most of the time) simply small matters that we can choose to ruin the overall blessing of a life we have, or find creative and positive ways to get around.  And once you choose to look at problems in your life, the annoying people you meet, the friends that you hold a grudge against, the company that treats you poorly, and insurmountable problems with a hint of optimism, a curious thing happens: those issues themselves change.  When was the last time you saw a 3 or 4 year old hold a grudge or hate someone for not getting a toy they wanted, for someone not playing with them or because they didn't want to take a nap/bath?  Sure in the heat of the moment they can get ludicrous in their tantrums, but they forget and they live their moments in life looking forward mostly independent of the negative things that happen in their (relatively short) past.

Happiness is a thing that just about everyone wants but not everyone is willing to work for and even fewer are willing to address the many issues that they are at least partially accountable for (in not being happy).  I know I'm guilty of that and as hard as it maybe, I'll do what I can little by little to get myself into the once optimistic and imaginative child I once was.   Perhaps then, I can once again find that fleeting and empirical feeling that has alluded me as adult but can vividly remember experiencing  as a child: carefree cheerfulness.